It started so well. The distinguished William Kent Krueger started interviewing me by looking so serious, and asking wonderful questions . . .

. . . but things soon deteriorated when he decided to take the interview in an unorthodox direction and attack me with an assortment of improvised weapons, including a Viking battle-axe. The stocking was his own personal preference, of course.

This was a theme that continued throughout the event. That very afternoon, Guest of Honour, Dana Stabenow, also went for me! OK, OK, we were doing a self-defence demonstration at the time, and Dana proved a very quick student, so it turned into a most entertaining session.

It's enough to drive anyone to drink. My Other Half, Andy, looking very nervous on his first ever panel − the Spouse panel − alongside Sean Doolittle's charming wife, Jessica, who clearly felt the same way!

Left to right, Dina Willner attempting to control the Anything Goes panel: Guest of Honour Dana Stabenow, International Guest of Honour yours truly, William Kent Krueger and Toastmaster of Honour Jan Burke. Dina read out snippets of news stories and then let the four of us run with them. Needless to say, things nose-dived pretty quickly from there on in. I can’t remember specifics, but there was mention of a Lady of Negotiable Affection named Lavina, 2000lbs of frozen fish, and the fact that, at weekends, Kent’s name is quite possibly Mandy (allegedly).

Author Donna Andrews (here taking an extreme close-up of something) did a brilliant job of running the charity auction, getting bids for some wonderfully diverse items.

The guilty parties. Dana Stabenow, myself, and Jan Burke at the end of the show.

With Manya Shorr from Omaha Public Library, one of the guiding lights behind Mayhem in the Midlands this year.

I'm fascinated by the number of flags flying in the United States. It's much more a national symbol than the Union Jack in the UK.

Bob the Bridge. The Bob Kerrey Pedestrian Bridge is described as art over water. It's certainly a spectacular construct spanning the Missouri river, linking Nebraska to Iowa, and is 3000 feet of gently swaying walkway. So, of course, we walked it.

I don't know quite what we expected of Omaha, but what we got was a delightfully cultured mix of old and new in the Old Market district. It's a city I shall definitely be going back to.